Coffee Talk #1

My mind is going a mile a minute right now. So many random thoughts that I'm not entirely sure how to reign in to create a logical post... so I'm not going to try.

Several of my favorite bloggers (including Gina and Casey) have done posts recently where they set the scene as "If we were having coffee (or wine), what would we talk about?" and I really like that. It's so real and honest - it's a "here's what in my head," "let's just talk" forum, without being a structured "I'm a blogger!!!" post. Sometimes simple is best!

So let's see. If we were having coffee (or wine, let's be honest), what would I tell you?

• The weather is terrible today. I've been working from home, and therefore not exposed to the rain we've been having, which is great. Today is the worst day this week - raining buckets, wind, just all-around nasty out. Perfect day for staying home, right? Sadly, that is not the case. Today, I had to go to the office. The commute was horrendous, which subsequently puts me in a horrible mood. Great for team work! Not.
• On Tuesday night, I used leftovers to create Cheeseburger Quesadillas. They were delicious, and I was really proud of the final result. I think the idea came to me from several other food blogs, but I'm not entirely sure which ones - I just know it was a great idea, and a very successful dinner.
• American Horror Story: Coven started last night. Anyone else watch it?? I totally love and hate this show. We've watched both of the previous seasons, and it thrills and terrifies me every time. I torture myself every week. This season looks in-tense already!
• I took CX Works (a core-intensive class) and BodyCombat (kickboxing on steroids) back-to-back on Tuesday, and I paid for all day yesterday. Every muscle in my body hurts... but in a good way. I think.
• We are starting to think about what should be the first big house project that we take on. After painting the basement, I want to paint everything. But I also want to rip out the carpets on the main floor and put down hardwood (or laminate... not sure...) and that seems like something we should do first.
• Smaller house projects: we currently have a broken toilet in the master bathroom and a dryer making horrible sounds. Seems like those two things should come before the big projects. Sigh. Joys of home-owning! 
• Have you heard of Lorde and her song "Royals" yet? I just came across her last weekend, and I'm trying to decide if I like the song or not. I think I do. I started a Pandora station based off her, and I'm kind of enjoying the mix I've heard so far. Her subject matter is pop-y, but her sound is different. 

So what's new with you? Pull up a chair and pass the wine... let's talk for a bit.

'Fraidy cat.

Day 7: The thing(s) you're most afraid of.

I daresay that a better question would be "what are you NOT afraid of," as the list would probably be much shorter. Hmm.

It is not a giant secret that I am generally a big ol' 'fraidy cat. I am, as a rule, a jumpy, nervous, scared, anxiety-ridden worrier.  (Yet another character flaw.) In certain circumstances and situations, I am independent and a Big Girl, but that is usually not the case. 

In the interest of time, here is a short, off-the-top-of-my-head, list of things I can remember being afraid of at one time or am currently afraid of (points if you can guess old fears vs. new ones... you'd be surprised! ha):

• The dark
• Being murdered
• My family being murdered
• Silence
• Our house burning down
• Robbers
• Spiders
• Bugs in general
• Getting in a car accident
• My Peter Rabbit sheets when I was a toddler (explain that one)
• Scary movies (this includes movies that are not considered "scary" by most standards)
• Getting caught lying
• Getting in trouble
• Failure
• Public speaking
• Being put on-the-spot
• Not knowing the answer
• Unknown numbers calling me
• The bottom step of the basement stairs
• Monsters under my bed (yes, really)
• Thunder & lightening

I could go on and on. In addition to being scared of a number of mundane things, I am also the person who gasps constantly in the car (drives C insane) when other cars are coming too close (or not) and lets out a small shriek when doors slam.

Do not get me started on what happens when there is a spider in the house. It ain't pretty.

What are you afraid of? Physical things, or mental / emotional things? I clearly have a mix of both...

 

Perspective

I'm having one of those days. Sigh. It's the plain ol' truth.

I make it a point to unsubscribe from junk email lists as often as I can, and I've done a pretty good job at freeing up my inbox. One list that I've stayed on, however, is the "Daily Thought" list from Real Simple. There is just something about getting that simple image with a provoking saying on it that tends to ground me or give me just the pause I need in the morning. Here are a few thoughts I've saved for days like today:

 

 

Reaching out

I, like so many others, am horrified and heartbroken over the incident in Connecticut on Friday. I don't know why, but, for some reason, this particular act of violence is hitting me especially hard. Perhaps it's the children involved, or the fact that it was at a school, at one of the singular places where we are all supposed to feel safe. I'm not sure - what I am sure of, though, is that I feel an overwhelming amount of emotion regarding this event. I think what's the hardest is the fact that I am not feeling sympathy in this case, as so many other are. I am feeling empathy - I know how it feels. I have done this.

I feel helpless. I want to do something. I want to help take away the pain - from someone, anyone, all of them. I want to apologize: I am so sorry. I am so sorry that this has happened again. I want to look into all of their eyes and promise them that life will go on. It will never be the same, but there will become a new normal. I want to tell them that they will always have Before and After, as I do, and they will always distinguish life events as one or the other. I want to tell them that I know how it feels to have a gaping hole in your heart, one that gets smaller over time, but that will never truly heal. I want to take away the hurt. I feel tiny and insignificant. I don't know what to do.

I am praying for strength for the Newtown community, and for even just one moment of peace for all of those people who are touched by this event. The people victimized by this will spread far and wide - it never ceases to amaze me that, in events of such deep sorrow, the "six degrees of separation" never fails to prove true. Everyone knows someone affected by this. Reach out to those around you, and let them know that they are loved. Don't hesitate for one second to tell people that you care about them, or to do something nice for someone, or to simply spread happiness. You truly just never know what your last experience with someone will be. Spread light, spread love, spread hope.

I want to share the words (pared down, just a bit) that Nikki Giovanni shared with us in our darkest moments, and hope that now, in Sandy Hook's darkest moments, they may also provide some minute degree of comfort:

We are sad today, and we will be sad for quite a while. We are not moving on, we are embracing our mourning.
We are strong enough to stand tall tearlessly, we are brave enough to bend to cry, and we are sad enough to know that we must laugh again.
We will prevail.

You are not alone.

Activ-ain't

Considering the fact that I consider myself a bit of a fitness fanatic (I know, I know, that's still weird to me, too), it's been decidedly quiet around these parts re: the topic of fitness lately. And personally, I hate it.

This back issue is the first "major" injury that I've ever had to deal with, outside of shin splints. This is the first time I've ever found myself truly sidelined from an injury. This is the first time I've been told, "do not do anything." I know that, in the grand scheme of things, this little back twinge is hardly a "major" injury, but for someone who's just never experienced anything like this, it is really changing my perspective. My perspective is currently coming from the couch. Humph.

And seriously, truly - this is killing me. I am not good at being injured. I am not good at being patient and resting and healing and sitting around doing nothing. Honestly, it's been fun to make some dinners that require more effort in the evenings, and spend more time with C watching TV (my couch-potato status gave us plenty of time to watch all of Season 1 of Homeland!) and snuggling my cat. But I am so over it. I want to be in the gym. I want to go to yoga and BodyPump and my abs class. I want to run. I want my normal routine back.

I know that if I push too soon or jump in too fast, I'm going to hurt myself again, and probably worse. I know that I need to be gentle and take my time and blah blah blah. But when I'm sitting on the couch feeling squishy because I had a week of FIVE REST DAYS (blerg), I tend to forget those things and just feel like I want to jump up and put on my tennis shoes and run. I haven't been this inactive in years. Seriously - years. Ever since that first day in January 2010 that my mom and I signed up for Gold's, I've been religiously, fanatically going to the gym and getting in workouts every single time I possibly can. This couch-potato person is who I used to be, not who I am now. I'm getting antsy. I'm looking in the mirror and can practically see my muscle definition evaporating (dramatic, perhaps, but it's cool). I was feeling good a few months ago. Now I feel squishy.

I'm going to have to start back at square one, and I'm not looking forward to it. That means light weights and short runs. That means gentle classes and easing back into what I used to be doing. It means listening and taking those rest days that I need and continuing to be BFFs with my ice pack (we've gotten to know each other reallll good). It means I have to be patient (not something I'm good at). 

Feeling a bit like Debbie Downer today, but I needed to get this off my chest. And I figure that, if I write it all down, I have to stick to this plan of healing and working my way back into my old routine. Once the words are out there on the page, it has to happen, right? Whether I like it or not.

I do not like it, Sam-I-am.

Here's baby otters, to make up for the Moaning Myrtle post today:

[google images]

How to Get Out of Running a Race You Really Want to Run

Alternately titled, "I'm Too Stubborn for My Own Damn Good."

Follow these steps carefully:

1. Sign up for a race (for example, the Wicked 10K) months in advance (at least four. maybe five).
2. Injure your back, approximately two months before the race.
3. Ignore that injury, and continue exercising strenuously (for ideas, try lifting heavier weights than usual or running 11 miles...... just suggestions).
4. Complain a lot about said injury.
5. Finally see a chiropractor, who promptly tells you to ice your back 3-4 times daily and refrain from strenuous activity anything (like weight-lifting, or running) but the elliptical.
6. Rejoice in the glory that is being pain-free and gush about your chiropractor.
7. Ignore the chiropractor's advice - instead, ice one time daily and go for three runs.
8. Be confused when not only does your back hurt again, but it hurts worse.
9. See chiropractor again. He promptly yells at you for ignoring his advice and undoing the amazing work that he did on your back.
10. Decide to listen to chiropractor (he is a medical professional, after all) and finally start icing and stop exercising.
11. Heal - very, very slowly. Definitely not in time for your race. Which you could have run, had you:
1. Taken it easier when your back first started hurting.
2. See a doctor sooner.
3. Taken the doctor's advice.
4. Not been so freaking stubborn.
12. Be very, very sad about the fact that you will probably have to walk most of this race because there is an ice-cube's-chance-in-hell likelihood that the chiropractor will clear you to run 10k this weekend.

This is clearly a hypothetical suggestion, because obviously I would never be the person so dumb as to do all of these things. This is a horrible plan. Who would do these things??

Anyone else going to be at the Wicked 10K this weekend?? Wave to me as you run by. I'll be the crying dumb sad girl.

The Calming Powers of Cookies

Alternately titled, "Stress Baking."

Oatmeal Scotchies
from Very Best Baking

Ingredients

• 1 ¼ cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• ½ teaspoon salt
• ½ teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened
• ¾ cup granulated sugar
•  ¾ cup packed brown sugar
• 2 large eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 3 cups quick or old-fashioned oats
• 1 2/3 cup (11-oz package) butterscotch chips

Directions

1.       Preheat oven to 375.

2.       Combine flour, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon in small bowl.

3.       Beat butter, sugars, eggs and vanilla in large mixing bowl.

4.       Gradually beat in flour mixture.

5.       Stir in oats and chips.

6.       Drop by rounded tablespoon onto ungreased baking sheets.

OR do what I did…

1.       Grease (/spray with Pam cooking spray) 15”x10” jelly roll pan (AKA cookie sheet).

2.       Prepare dough as above.

3.       Use your hands to spread into the pan.

4.       Bake for 18-22 minutes or until light brown.

5.       Cool completely in pan on wire rack.

6.       Cut into squares/rectangles/whatever.

My mom used to make these all the time, and they were never, ever in "cookie" form - always bars. So that's what makes sense to me. I know that any cookie can be done in either manner, but for me, chocolate chip cookies are always in "cookie" form, and oatmeal scotchies are always in bars. They taste better that way, swear.

If you're looking for me this weekend...

I'll be in the kitchen.

The itch to bake hit me hard this week, and I just haven't been able to find time to actually do something about it yet. My head is filled with ingredients and recipes and ideas, and with every day that goes by, the more I come up with. I just want to get into the kitchen and get all those familiar ingredients out and turn on my mixer. I find the physical act of baking very calming - there is just something about the concentration required and the measuring and stirring and the whirring of my mixer that soothes me. I've been in a little bit of a funk this week, and I'm pretty sure that a nice, long baking session is in order. Put ingredients in, get results out. It's an area that I have control over, when I feel like I don't have control over much else.

Good thing I have some free time this weekend. My kitchen is going to be filled with treats.

Here's what I'm thinking....

Oatmeal Cranberry White Chocolate Chunk Cookies

The combination of cranberry and the white chocolate chips makes my mouth water, and when I googled for a basic recipe to play off of, I found this one that includes oatmeal. Sounds good to me!

[source]

Peach Bread

I've got a big bag of peaches that I got from a farmers' stand on our way back from the beach last weekend, and I need to do something with them! I was originally thinking peach cobbler, but peach bread sounds even better today.

[source]

Peach Upside Down Cake

I love pineapple upside down cake, and this sounds like a delicious variation. A little vanilla ice cream on the side? Perfection.

[source]

Any other suggestions? Requests? If I make it, you're free to come eat it... C & I certainly can't shouldn't eat all these sweets ourselves! I have a feeling my office mates are going to be very happy come Monday, because whatever I make will most likely get brought in for them. I'm awesome like that. Ha!